Like some of you reading this, I’ve struggled with loving myself, but I’m thankful to say I’ve attained a significant amount of self love to the point where I feel I can share my experience and hope that you take something from it.
Learning to love yourself is not easy, but it’s also not impossible.
I remember looking in the mirror and just hating my looks, not believing in myself, and hating everything around me. I would spend hours crying and talking myself down, and when a good thought popped into my head, I would find every excuse to counter it.
Not loving yourself prevents you from fully loving others and expressing that love. Self hate or dissatisfaction disrupts the most enjoyable events in life and oftentimes, leads to regrets. I could go on talking about how detrimental self hate is, but if you’ve experienced it, I’m sure you understand what I’m trying to say.
One of the first steps I took towards self love was talking to myself in the mirror. You’ve probably heard this a thousand times, but this regimen played a vital role while I was learning to love myself, so I will always recommend it.
Compliment yourself in the mirror. Look in the mirror and say, “you look nice today” or “that top looks amazing on you.” Point out some of your features that you love and remind yourself how amazing they make you.
A friend of mine once said to me, “if you stare in the mirror too long, you might start noticing some of your imperfections and that might make you feel even worse.”
She didn’t lie, but that’s the point.
The point is to embrace what makes you different, your uniqueness, your so called ‘imperfections’. The point is to take charge of them, own them, and as hard as it may seem, love them.
During one of my mirror sessions, I stared too long and as my scars and darker spots revealed themselves, I felt more and more insecure. Instead of running away from the mirror, I ran my fingers across my scars, stretch marks, and all other things that make me feel less than perfect.
I literally spoke to them and said, “you are beautiful, you make me beautiful and I wouldn’t be me without you.” I stared at my body and embraced those imperfections. I forced myself to love that they are part of my body. I danced in the mirror to express the freedom and control I have over my own body. I’m still learning to love them, but I love them much more than I did when I first started this journey. They’re amazing and they make me amazing.
Remind yourself of all that you've been through, everything you've achieved, and everything you hope to achieve. Remember that you are absolutely beautiful no matter what. I know all this sounds so easy and somewhat unbelievable but trust me, it works.
Talk to yourself in the mirror before stepping out of your house, going out with friends, going to places where you think you might feel inferior or have social anxiety. Remind yourself of how beautiful and amazing you are. Remind yourself of your goals in life and what you hope to achieve where you are heading to.
Say these three words every time you look in the mirror, “I," "AM," "BEAUTIFUL" cause you are and God made everyone of us so.
Work towards self goals. We all have different goals relating to different aspects of our lives. Things like improving our proficiency in a language, upgrading our resumes, loosing or gaining weight, getting higher grades, and many others. Focus on reaching those goals to improve yourself.
After achieving your goals, an incomprehensible sense of fulfillment overwhelms you and it's the best feeling. Achieving those simple or burdensome goals will bring forth a huge surge in your self confidence. But be mindful: This does not mean the love you have for yourself is conditional or dependent on achieving certain goals.
Your achievements will remind you that when you set your mind to do something, you can accomplish it. Anytime you doubt yourself, you can quickly refute those thoughts with examples of your previous achievements and that will keep you going.
You will gradually find happiness from within. You will begin to love and appreciate yourself more and realize that you are in control of becoming the best version of yourself.
Whew! I have so much more to say on this topic, but I’ll stop here for now.
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Thanks for reading WrittenByIsi
-Isi Ijewere.
Bible verse takeaway: "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." -Psalm 139:14 (ESV)